Американские неполиткоректные шуточки

Anal sex is like spinach: if you're forced to have it as a kid, you won't enjoy it as an adult.

My girlfriend said "anal on the first date? That's a bit presumptuous."

I said, "that's a pretty big word for an 8 year old."

 

What's the hardest part when cooking a vegetable?

Fitting the wheelchair in the oven. (Stephen Hawking)

 

 

What do you call a white guy surrounded by five black people?

Coach. 

 

1:1 = victim
1:5 = coach
1:10 = quarterback
1:2000 = warden



What's the difference between black people and cancer?

Cancer can get Jobs

Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing her seatbelt.

A women goes to her doctor and he notices she has a black eye. He asks her about it and she breaks down crying and says her husband comes home drunk and beats her all the time. The Doctor says well I fix that for you next time he comes home drunk, drink this and gargle it till he goes to sleep. One month later she goes back to the doctor happy and bruise free and asks what was in that mouthwash? Nothing, You just needed to shut the fuck up. 

Why do asians have such squinty eyes?  Atomic bombs are pretty bright. 

(И если вы рассказали эту шутку вашему боссу корейцу ... Enjoy your unemployment.  I think you mean unemproyment.....)