"I'd rather peel off my skin and bathe my weeping raw flesh in a bath of vinegar than spend any time with you. But that's just my opinion. Don't take it personally."


"You must be a cunt. Or a lawyer. Yeah, a lawyer."


"Being in the same room with you makes me want to suck the pus out of a rancid nasty rectum."


"I don't wanna die! I love sex. And furry animals."


"Whatever it is, if it comes out of your mouth, it's gotta be bad news."